How Did I Get Here?

Photo by EJ Holley, taken at Atomic Canary studio in Baltimore, 2018

I have always known that I wanted to be an artist and performer. I never knew what form that would take, but even as a child I would find my spotlight. Once, by joining the cover band singer at a family friends birthday party when I was around nine years old. At times a literal spotlight, like one night when we awoke to kerosene smoke filling the house and had to call firemen. That night ended with me dancing in the light they had pointed at the house from their truck as they worked to clear out the smoke from our home. As I grew older, I found I had a passion for photography and modeling thanks to the growing access to more photos on the internet (along with a bit of ANTM) and in high school I got my first high quality camera. I took countless selfies (before they were even called that) and did mini photo shoots with friends. Often I would use this to explore the more dark and alternative styles (like goth) that I was finding I had a fondness for. I had no idea then that I was training myself for my future modeling career!

In school I always took part in artistic classes, be that band, choir, theatre, painting, life drawing, or creative writing. Upon graduating, I attempted the routine we are all expected to follow and found myself incredibly out of sync. Retail jobs gave me an opportunity to work with customers directly to help them find what they needed and do everything I could to ensure that they left fully satisfied. However, those jobs left me drained from fitting a particular mold with no creative outlet. After my various attempts at retail and customer service positions, I thought I found my calling as a veterinary assistant until I found that my intense empathy and strong attention to details made the job incredibly overwhelming. I was trying my hardest to make it work, but finding myself emotionally crumbling from the pressure with no clue where to turn.

That is until I was contacted about modeling for a real photo shoot. Previously someone had reached out to me and we had done a photo shoot in a local park, but it wasn't the most professional experience (mostly due to the flirting I received from the photographer), so I had taken it with a grain of salt. The images were no better than anything I had shot myself, leaving me blind to my own potential. In 2013, a DC area cosplay photographer contacted me about modeling for him and after a look at his portfolio I realized that this was an excellent opportunity. He helped me finesse my poses and took the time to get all of the lighting just right. When I saw the images from that photo shoot, it was the first time I saw myself as a model. I was blown away by how stunning the images were and baffled that they were of me!

Photo by M9 Photography, taken at Graffiti Warehouse in Baltimore, June 2013

From the moment I saw those final images, I was hooked. I did 8 more photo shoots that year, including a few paid shoots. My early work was under the name Kitti Li, which with some time I grew to see as a bit bland and not quite suited for my needs, slowly changing the name to Laurie Glimmer, a play on my legal name. After a few months, I left the veterinary job that was driving me crazy(er) and at the end of the year I started dancing at a burlesque-style strip club called The Crazy Russian in Rosedale, MD. Learning to dance at the same time I was learning the ropes of modeling was an absolute blessing. I would watch the other girls dance and mimic moves that caught my eye, all while learning muscle control and fluid movement that would prove invaluable as a model. Even though I had to leave the club in it's final months toward the end of 2014 due to my schedule picking up with more modeling work (I did at least 40 shoots that year), I will never forget how much I loved The Crazy Russian and all of the amazing friends I made there. I continue performing burlesque and pole dancing, in addition to some gogo dancing. Pole dancing is an absolute blast for me because I almost get to break the rules of gravity, and burlesque is a close 2nd favorite with the freedom it gives me to make any kind of statement I want (even when all I have to say is 'LOOK, I'M NAKED NOW, TADAA').

My first fetish modeling was on a foot fetish photo shoot during 2014. I had found my way into the local fetish community in 2011 which helped me make sense of a lot of my own kinks, although in hindsight I was practically vanilla (community term for non-kinky people) compared to how twisted my mind is now. It didn't take long for me to dive deep into fetish modeling. I did a few photo shoots with fetish themes during 2014, but it was in August of that year that I attended my first Fetish Convention in St. Petersburg, FL. I started filming some fetish video clips with a friend (thank you again Trebuchet Von Funktionhaus!) who let me ride down with them to the convention to get more experience with fetish modeling. There I networked with many new people, and even got to see a few familiar faces (particularly that of the stunning Hex Hypoxia). Over the next year I started working with more fetish content producers in addition to my normal photo shoots and slowly started to build content to launch my own clips4sale studio. I had attempted to create two personas, one for fetish modeling and another for more traditional modeling and found that it was a nightmare, so in 2016 I re-branded and merged Laurie Glimmer and my fetish character Lori Lost to become Lori Glimmer. The name fit like a glass slipper and I took off from there. I finally launched my fetish video studio and was able to put all of the work I had done over the previous four years under a cohesive name. I finally felt free to be myself and be open about all of my artistic interests without shame, providing a sense of relief for many friends and fans who were struggling with their own self-acceptance.

While I still model and dance, 2017 and 2018 have allowed me to start exploring another passion; music. In 2017 my (then) fiance and I started an indie musical project which gave me the confidence to start working on my musical knowledge and skills. Because I had started to take the leap into singing, when the opportunity presented itself to join Baltimore folk-metal band Teshaleh earlier this year I didn't hesitate to give it a try. Music was always something I felt a strong attraction to, but I had never had the right circumstances to pursue music in the past. Teshaleh was a dream come true. I am finally getting to perform musically, which I know will lead to countless other projects and adventures before my journey is done.

I will always be a model in the hopes that I can inspire others. I will never stop dancing so that I give others the strength to dance along in their own lives. I will continue to produce content for other kinky freaks like me, letting them know that they aren't alone. I will sing until I breathe no more, bringing a little more beauty into this world. At the end of the day, I am an artist, and that has no bounds.

I will always be me. A little dark, a lot weird, and always artsy.

Photo by Jehanne de Champvallon, Baltimore, 2017